Sunday, October 27, 2013
A week after Tokunbo's arrival in London Bola arrived. It was a spectacular summer afternoon, with the sun shining brightly down on the Thames, and surrounding countryside. Tokunbo waited in the arrivals section. In his hands he held a bunch of roses. White roses..He looked nervously around the terminal, and paced up and down,now and then turning around to survey the emerging passengers from immigration. The last thing that he wanted was to miss her in the crowd of people outside the arrivals door. There were men, women and children, and taxi drivers all jostling around impatiently and contributing to a sense of controlled chaos.
He saw her walk out, and he wondered to himself how he had thought that he could ever have missed her, even in a crowd. There was, in his mind, no crowd too big to seperate them from each other. In the passion of a new found love he suffered from illusions about the power of this love. She, was in a pink suit, on her head she wore a french beret in white, which made her appear younger than her age. Behind her she pulled a suitcase. As she spotted her lover making his way towards her her face broke into the familiar charming smile which had besotted him. He could not help but smile back in return, and he advanced rapidly towards her.
" Darling...Welcome to London", and he kissed her ever so lightly on her lips and handed her the flowers.
" Oh, you should'nt have.." she said taking the flowers, and impulsively lifting them up to smell scent of the roses " " Thank you...Mmmm... there is nothing like the smell of fresh roses"
She gave him her suitcase and as they walked away he enquired about the trip, and the graduation that he had missed.
" It has all gone well," she remarked, and the added, " Thank God! It is noce to be here at any rate. And you, have you been able to get any rest? You looked so stressed out before you left."
This seemed to induce displeasure in him.
" Everyone keeps saying that , and I am tired of hearing it. "Stressed out!", and "Stressed out!". Stressed out? Is there any man in his right mind living in Nigeria now who is not? No, I think sometimes that insanity is a blessed refuge created by God for the just and favored ones, from the turmoils of this world. Mind you, that is the happy mad man, whi in his detachment from reality is a soaring eagle in the heavens of bliss. No, onthe other hand, there is on the opposite side of the spectrum, a disorder of thinking in which the darkness is overwhelming and all encompassing, and for them, only death is a refuge from their tortured existence."
She smiled to herself, evidently he was in better spirits, she could tell this by the return of his philosophising and the depth of his introspection.
" Yes, you are quite right", and she smiled her sweet smile at him," if it's not the water being shut off, then it's the light.."
" But, you digress!" he angrily interjected," Tell me everyting about the graduation, you must fill me in from the start to the finish."
He could not bear the idea of her having a part of her life, although only a week, in which he did not feature prominently, more so in regards to mmissing a momentous occasion as a graduation.
As they drove in the taxi she from Heathrow to their Hotel, she told him of the ceremonies and the speeches and the parties. It had seemed like it was just yesterday, she said, that they had entered the university, and now it had all abruptly come to an end, the fairy-tale existence of care-free college days were over.
He had the asked her in as disinterested a manner as possible about his ex girlfriend Yetunde. At the mention of her rivals name her back had straightened itself , and a stiff formailty took over from the lightness," You ask of Yetunde?" She asked, half pretending to have not understood the question," She was there and left for Lagos, I think, the day after her graduation." then after a moment of thought she added" And, my understanding is that you never did tell her what we had agreed upon..."
He nodded in agreement. She looked more displeased still, and in an effort to assuage her anger, he added, " How could I do that to her during the week of her final exams? That would have been a dastardly deed indeed . Have you heard the saying,' For everything has it's time and it's place'."
For Bola, the break-up with Yetunde could not come too soon.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
The Calorie king truely is KING OF THE CALORIE
You cant be too rich or too thin...
And for that reason, I think this Atkins diet is a good way to get the pounds down before you swing into a maintenance diet.
A book that has helped me to count the carbs, and the calories:
THE CALORIE KING, CALORIE,FAT, AND CARBOHYDRATE COUNTER.
i CARRY THIS BOOK WITH ME at all times, as I have had trouble running my"diet" iphone apps. it turned out to be cumbersome and tiresome logging my intake on their web sites, and I think maybe my phone kept getting disconnected from their sites, and this is supposed to be easy? The more difficult we make it, the less likely we are going to succeed.
Keep a running tab of your intake esp Carbohydrate, and when you fail once in a while, just hop back onto the wagon, no regrets.
ALCOHOL:
If you plan to consume alcohol after induction, then go for the 0 carbs ; brandy, gin, rum etc. However, these drinks are high calorie, do not consume more than one shot a day if you are female, and 2 if you are male. Beware, this will slow down your weight loss, so when you are in turbo mode cut it out entirely.
And for that reason, I think this Atkins diet is a good way to get the pounds down before you swing into a maintenance diet.
A book that has helped me to count the carbs, and the calories:
THE CALORIE KING, CALORIE,FAT, AND CARBOHYDRATE COUNTER.
i CARRY THIS BOOK WITH ME at all times, as I have had trouble running my"diet" iphone apps. it turned out to be cumbersome and tiresome logging my intake on their web sites, and I think maybe my phone kept getting disconnected from their sites, and this is supposed to be easy? The more difficult we make it, the less likely we are going to succeed.
Keep a running tab of your intake esp Carbohydrate, and when you fail once in a while, just hop back onto the wagon, no regrets.
ALCOHOL:
If you plan to consume alcohol after induction, then go for the 0 carbs ; brandy, gin, rum etc. However, these drinks are high calorie, do not consume more than one shot a day if you are female, and 2 if you are male. Beware, this will slow down your weight loss, so when you are in turbo mode cut it out entirely.
BTW: I love the calorie king book, he is so approachable makes sense of all this food stuff for us lay folk. Lotsa pics too, just up my simple minded alley. After your holy book, Bible or whatever, this is the next most important book for the rest of your life.
The NO- Food list for Atkins: Induction-and weight loss phases
In order for all who are not familiar with the diet to follow my trend of thought I want to clarify that in the initial phases of this diet foods with high carbohydrate content are excluded, I already showed you previously the high carbohydrate content of bananas and even cantaloupe! Like wise, in this phase do not eat any of these foods at all:
POTATOES>
RICE
CARROTS
Avoid WHITE SUGAR<BROWN SUGAR, All products made with white flour, all pastas,
take note NO PROCESSED FOODS OR COOKIES:. ONLY CRACKERS and the Breads, in small quantities goal 16 gm CHO per meal.
Later on, after you have achieved you desired weight you should be able to introduce small quantities of these foods, eg whole wheat pasta, quinoa / brown rice.
For now, "KISS"
KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID works for me!
POTATOES>
RICE
CARROTS
Avoid WHITE SUGAR<BROWN SUGAR, All products made with white flour, all pastas,
take note NO PROCESSED FOODS OR COOKIES:. ONLY CRACKERS and the Breads, in small quantities goal 16 gm CHO per meal.
Later on, after you have achieved you desired weight you should be able to introduce small quantities of these foods, eg whole wheat pasta, quinoa / brown rice.
For now, "KISS"
KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID works for me!
Daily weights, mental preparation and bread substitutes: Keep to 16gm carbohydrate equivalent per meal for bread.
you are now ready to start on the diet, and the good news is that you can do this at home without a costly weight reduction center. A couple of things before you set off on this path of self fulfillment:
Firstly:
WEIGH YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY FIRST THING IN MORNING. document your staring weight, waist size, hips, thigh diameter.
Secondly:
Prepare yourself mentally for the diet. remember, the first 72 hours are the most critical phase, as this phase will remove carbohydrate craving.
Thirdly;
For those of you who cannot get the specific products that I have mentioned here for the ease of my western audience, then you will have to substitute wisely.
The mestemacher bread, can probably be substituted with a rye or pumpernickel bread. I guess if all these were impossible, you could always bake your own rye or pumpernickel bread. I dont have a recipe for that now, but I will share with you some of my own bread recipes in the future; but as my current recipes are for people in the pur maintenance phase I will give you them later. I have an equal passion for the WASA crisp bread, which I will give you nutritional info on later. But if you have this, 1-2 slices a day of this is also okay.
Now, if you have none of these, then my advice would be SUBSTITUTE with MELBA toast, or whole wheat crackers, or saltines, or water crackers: But max carbohydrate intake with meal 16 GRAMS CARBOHYDRATE EQUIVALENT.
Firstly:
WEIGH YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY FIRST THING IN MORNING. document your staring weight, waist size, hips, thigh diameter.
Secondly:
Prepare yourself mentally for the diet. remember, the first 72 hours are the most critical phase, as this phase will remove carbohydrate craving.
Thirdly;
For those of you who cannot get the specific products that I have mentioned here for the ease of my western audience, then you will have to substitute wisely.
The mestemacher bread, can probably be substituted with a rye or pumpernickel bread. I guess if all these were impossible, you could always bake your own rye or pumpernickel bread. I dont have a recipe for that now, but I will share with you some of my own bread recipes in the future; but as my current recipes are for people in the pur maintenance phase I will give you them later. I have an equal passion for the WASA crisp bread, which I will give you nutritional info on later. But if you have this, 1-2 slices a day of this is also okay.
Now, if you have none of these, then my advice would be SUBSTITUTE with MELBA toast, or whole wheat crackers, or saltines, or water crackers: But max carbohydrate intake with meal 16 GRAMS CARBOHYDRATE EQUIVALENT.
A bread for the continued weightloss phase: Mestemacher fitness bread,rye bread and pumpernickel bread.
Preparing for continued weight loss phase: 70- 120 grams carbohydrate goal per day.
Mestermacher fitness bread:
I found this bread in CVS, and I used this bread during my continued weight loss phase, and also cheated with it during induction when I was feeling like passing out etc etc...
I also have no finacial interest in this company, and I am sure there are many comparable breads which I do not know of, and as such I can only tell you what I know. But nowadays, it is easy, read the product labels of all foods.
this bread can be of help, note the description:
130 cal/slice.
2 gm fat.
370 mg Sodium.
23 gm Carbohydrate.
7 gm fibre
net total carbohydrate: 16 gm/ slice.
protein; 5 gm.
This means that during the continued weight loss phase you can add one or two slices of this bread perday to your diet.
To me, this was a life saver!!! I ate it with some vegetable margarinr spread and some sliced cheese.
This bread does not seem to mold easily, it is vaccum packed, and after I opened the packet I kept it in the fridge, and it was as good a week later, i think one pack contains 8 slices, and it will last you nearly a week. I bought mine at CVS but i see it is available online. I am hopeful that I will be bale to continue this product as a weight maintenance food.
Induction menu ideas
I will not undermine your imagination by giving you a detailed description about omellett- making, and scrambling eggs. suffice it that, you cant put all the veggies in the world yet; just discrete amounts of onions, and salt and pepper to taste. You can use a sprinkling of cheese too. In the first few days, force your self to eat the three meals a day. I did the egg breakfasts.
Now you ask, what do I do for lunch and dinner with those few choice items? I am not an imaginative cook either but I will share with you my humble ideas for this:1. Lettuce wraps, filled with ground turkey cooked in olive oil seasoned with pepper,salt,onion.
I think I enjoyed that meal the most of all, it was not too heavy on the meat...
2. Steak: I pan fried this steak and ate with ketchup, and salad leaves. This was a heavy meal, try to make sure the protein or steak is not larger than the palm of your hand.
3. Pork meaty ribs slow cooker:
I fried 1/2 an onion in a pan and then browned 2 pounds of the meaty type pork ribs which had been seasoned with salt and lemon pepper. Then transfer to slow cooker, add 4-5 tablespoons of barbecue sauce,( this is high CHO you will not consume the sauce after the meat is cooked, other than small amounts attached to your meat, read label of your barbecue sauce!!!). red wine vingar 1/2 cup,
cook on high for 4-1/2 hours-6 hours until done by meat thermometer.
4. Fish:
Smoked salmon with salad
Tuna salad made with onions,celery,and mayo, mustard.
Shrimps.
Salmon grilled, with salad.
Emergency supplies:
Orange juice.
Saltine crackers.
Wasa Crisp bread 2-3/day
Imported german rye/ fitness bread.
hand ful of almonds.
If you are going to cheat, then cheat with the supplies we are going to use during the maintenance phase.
also:
greek yoghurt
raspberries.
papaya.
weetabix.
unsweetened instant oatmeal.
The good news about this diet is that for most of the foods you are not fussing and obsessing about weights of the foods, keep portions reasionable I already said the steak size, and keep portions of proteins to size of your p[[alm. on those salad leaves you can splurge just be careful to use a olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette dressing see ya later! good luck.
Atkins diet menu list
Induction: Goal 20 grams carbohydrate/day;
1. One dozen eggs.
2. One bunch celery.
3.One onion.
4. Canned tuna, 4 cans.
5. Mayonnaise, made with olive oil not low calorie.
6. Mustard.
7. Beef steak, 1 pound.
8. Ground Turkey 1 pound.
9. Bacon.
10. Deli meat, as sliced ham, or salami.
11. Light soy milk
12. Splenda.
13. Metamucil.
14. Spinach salad.
15. Romaine salad.
16. Sausages.
17. Keep some orange juice at home in case you feel really bad then you may have to perform a small rescue on yourself with some juice.
Remember: drink plenty of fluids, at least 8 8 oz glasses of water. No alcohol in this phase. In the pure form this should be your diet for 14 days, and some people have reported weight losses of upto 10 pounds in the first week. do all dieting under the advice of your physician, if you follow this diet it is at your own risk. see my cautions initially.
1. One dozen eggs.
2. One bunch celery.
3.One onion.
4. Canned tuna, 4 cans.
5. Mayonnaise, made with olive oil not low calorie.
6. Mustard.
7. Beef steak, 1 pound.
8. Ground Turkey 1 pound.
9. Bacon.
10. Deli meat, as sliced ham, or salami.
11. Light soy milk
12. Splenda.
13. Metamucil.
14. Spinach salad.
15. Romaine salad.
16. Sausages.
17. Keep some orange juice at home in case you feel really bad then you may have to perform a small rescue on yourself with some juice.
Remember: drink plenty of fluids, at least 8 8 oz glasses of water. No alcohol in this phase. In the pure form this should be your diet for 14 days, and some people have reported weight losses of upto 10 pounds in the first week. do all dieting under the advice of your physician, if you follow this diet it is at your own risk. see my cautions initially.
Kim Kardashian loses weight with Atkins.
Kim Kardashian loses weight with Atkins:
I am not a paid associate of Atkins, nor do I have any financial interest in their company, and I am blogging, albeit late , to help people with weight loss. I started Atkins three weeks ago, and then today i saw the headlines of Kim Kardashian losing her baby weight! Any way, I have used this diet several times in the past, and sucessfully lost weight, and then I guess i regained it, because I am back here again. However, I could not lose weight on any other diet at all, and I fugure, it's better to be slim for a while then to be fat all the time.I have given my cautions, watch how you feel as you go on this and if you feel weak it may mean you need more electrolytes. Please do all this under the advice of your doctor. I could only do three days of the induction, before I had to also drink some orange juice .
Let reason triumph over beauty at all times.
With this in mind, I intenrtionally did not attempt any form of exercise during the induction phase, save daily activities of walking and working etc.
My reasoning is that the first two weeks of this diet are accompanied by a diureses and ? electrolyte deficienceis, and if you are older you should probably follow this advice. Then at week 3 I started re-introducing short stints of exercise. These stints of exercise were done before, but made no difference to my weight. I'll keep you posted, and I'll later give details on the 2 week induction meal plans, which i left to your own imagination, as i think everyone got the idea, eggs, omelet, scrambled, boiled, sausage, bacon, steak, fish, all on salad leaves. No fruit, no nuts, no bread, pasta or anything else.
Atkins diet: target 70 gram Carbohydrate/day
I have no scientific backup, but I estimate, that somewhere between 70-120 gram CHO per day will be most peoples goals as the CHO threshold that allows continued weightloss.
Unfortunately, most fruits will throw this diet off, and let me tell you why:1 apple (med) 70 calories,0 gm fat,19 gm CHO
1 banana(med) 105 cal,0 fat, 27 gm CHO
1 mango 205 cal, fat 0, 53 CHO
1/2 cantaloupe, 195 cal,1fat, 46 gm CHO
1 orange, 85 cal, fat 0, CHO 21 gm
Papaya,1/2 cup, 30 cal, 0 fat, 7 gm CHO.
Water melon, 1 cup, 45 cal, 0 fat, 11 gm CHO.
PineApple, 1 slice, 40 cal, 0 gm fat, 10 gm CHO.
Guava, 1, 80 cal,1 gm fat, 12 gm CHO
I see the papaya is about the same caloric value as hand ful raspberries, and if you are into greek yogurt then you can have one serving greek yogurt, and 1/2 cup papaya.
The goal is to limit breakfast to 20 gm of CHo.
Lunch: 20 gm CHO
Dinner; 30 gm CHO.
If you do not want the yogurt, then a readily available cereal is Weetabix, take 1 weetabix, 65 cal, 1 gm fat, and 13 gm cho. add soy milk light, 1/2 cup approx 5 gm cho.
most cereals are prohibitively high in CHO. another option is instant oatmeal 1 pk 1 oz , i thin its unsweetened and the cho valu is 11 gm.
A review of the low carbohydrate diet by Atkins
The goal is to limit carbohydrate consumption:
Induction; Goal 20 gm carbohydrate per day. Continue induction for not more than two weeks would be my recommendation. I was never able to get the urine strips to document ketosis. However, I think this diet is great for quick weight reduction, with the caveat that it does become quite scary after a while, and you worry whether you are going to have a fatal arrhythmia, or intestinal obstruction from constipation. I am not sure about the original recommendation in regars to caffeine, but I believe he wanted this limited. I drank a lot of tea and coffee and that may be why I thought I would have an arrhythmia? Anyway, I used Splenda in my tea, and light soy milk, and I ate mostly eggs, steak, and fish, and ribs, with some salad leaves. To be honest with you this was so counter-intuitive to me...I hate eggs, rarely eat meat; and I had to force myself to stay away from whole grains and fruits. After 3 days I started incorporating some whole grains as well, and I must have increased my CHO intake to 70 grams with rye bread 2 slices, or saltine crackers 10, or WASA crisp bread 2-3/day, and a hand ful of almonds- not more than 16 almonds per day.
As you can imagine my weight did not go down more than 4 pounds in 2 weeks, but I felt better on the 70 gram CHO per day. Do not forget to use the Metamucil when you start this diet. By my own estimation, if you walk thirty minutes a day on this regimen you should lose about twice as much IE 8 pounds in nthe first two weeks.
The interesting thing is that after 3 days on the induction 0f 20 gram CHO perd ay you will lose your appetite for sweet things.
In week three I added small servings of greek yoghurt, with a handful of raspberries for breakfast. One serving of the yogurt is 8 gm CHO, and theraspberries are the lowest carbohydrate fruit I know about 12 gram CHO for estimated 12 raspberries. I also added some avocado, which 1 large avocado is about 20 gm CHO, some tuna salad, i for got to mention during induction i did have tuna salad several days.
In the Atkins diet he wants everyone to determine their CHO threshold, which means the anount of carbohydrate you cab consume daily and still maintain weight loss. I think that this goal is important as I feel that as soon as possible, you need to get off this diet with high meat consumption, and much saturated fats, and convert to a diet with whole grains with a low glycemic index. Thus, the oatmeal which we talked about earlier, which is a high carbohydrate food, the steel cut oats,1/2 cup, 1.4 oz, 150 cal,3 gm fat, and 27 gram CHO. This means if your CHO threshold is at roughly 70 grams per day, you have nearly taken in half of daily alottment.
Induction; Goal 20 gm carbohydrate per day. Continue induction for not more than two weeks would be my recommendation. I was never able to get the urine strips to document ketosis. However, I think this diet is great for quick weight reduction, with the caveat that it does become quite scary after a while, and you worry whether you are going to have a fatal arrhythmia, or intestinal obstruction from constipation. I am not sure about the original recommendation in regars to caffeine, but I believe he wanted this limited. I drank a lot of tea and coffee and that may be why I thought I would have an arrhythmia? Anyway, I used Splenda in my tea, and light soy milk, and I ate mostly eggs, steak, and fish, and ribs, with some salad leaves. To be honest with you this was so counter-intuitive to me...I hate eggs, rarely eat meat; and I had to force myself to stay away from whole grains and fruits. After 3 days I started incorporating some whole grains as well, and I must have increased my CHO intake to 70 grams with rye bread 2 slices, or saltine crackers 10, or WASA crisp bread 2-3/day, and a hand ful of almonds- not more than 16 almonds per day.
As you can imagine my weight did not go down more than 4 pounds in 2 weeks, but I felt better on the 70 gram CHO per day. Do not forget to use the Metamucil when you start this diet. By my own estimation, if you walk thirty minutes a day on this regimen you should lose about twice as much IE 8 pounds in nthe first two weeks.
The interesting thing is that after 3 days on the induction 0f 20 gram CHO perd ay you will lose your appetite for sweet things.
In week three I added small servings of greek yoghurt, with a handful of raspberries for breakfast. One serving of the yogurt is 8 gm CHO, and theraspberries are the lowest carbohydrate fruit I know about 12 gram CHO for estimated 12 raspberries. I also added some avocado, which 1 large avocado is about 20 gm CHO, some tuna salad, i for got to mention during induction i did have tuna salad several days.
In the Atkins diet he wants everyone to determine their CHO threshold, which means the anount of carbohydrate you cab consume daily and still maintain weight loss. I think that this goal is important as I feel that as soon as possible, you need to get off this diet with high meat consumption, and much saturated fats, and convert to a diet with whole grains with a low glycemic index. Thus, the oatmeal which we talked about earlier, which is a high carbohydrate food, the steel cut oats,1/2 cup, 1.4 oz, 150 cal,3 gm fat, and 27 gram CHO. This means if your CHO threshold is at roughly 70 grams per day, you have nearly taken in half of daily alottment.
Christiana Nwafor was a naiive twenty-one year old when she had been sent to Lagos by her mother. The objective for the visit had been, in the mother's mind, that of either matrimony or employment. If at all possible a perfect outcome would be the attainment of both, concomitantly. But if this were not possible, and fate would have them choose only one or the other, then matrimony was deemed to be the superior. For, in the end, what use would all the jobs in the world be, if a girl did not have a husband? And, in the same vein, you could wait a life-time for work, and other than penury would not be much put out over it, but no worse fate could befall a maid other than to be literally left on the shelf. And the biological clock is no respector of man or woman's needs for careers', and it ticks on, days turning to weeks and then years seemingly in the blinking of an eyelid. In Enugu, the movements of this clock were intensified like the dry seasons heat was acting to drive the movements swifter. Indeed, most of Christiana's friends, and classmates, were happily married since the tender age of eighteen. Nevertheless, Christiana did not allow these realities to deter her hopes for the future. She was tall and fair, and looked nothing like her mother. Her face was oval in shape,and a small chin and nose served as a fine framework into which the brilliance of her large brown eyes lended some rays of glamour as the sun does the morning. And as the sun dominates the sky by day, her eyes were the sparkle of life to her visage and its most complementing feature.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Mr Tokunbo Ajayi makes a decision
Mr Tokunbo Ajayi makes a decisiion
The graduation:
The graduation ceremony at Obafemi Awolowo University in Ife had come and gone, even without the presence of Mr. Tokunbo Ajayi. In a last moment of incertitude he had backed out of the attending the graduation alotogether. For, he could not attend the ceremony as the fiance of Yetunde, which he no longer felt that he was; and Bola who had by now been secretly dating him for the last few months could not help but agree that the situation was at best awkward for all involved.. A week before the wedding he hurrieldy purchased two airline tickets for London; his was to leave the next morning and Bolas was to nleave the day after the graduation ceremonies at Ife were over. The plan was for them to celebrate in London, this next great phase of their lives which waited ahead of them, a future though unknown was firmly rooted in their committment to stya together. Contrary to appearances this sequel of events had not been hurried or altogether unplanned either, as they had spent largely every weekend together over the last few months, when Bola had taken transport down to Lagos to meet him. They had found this arrangement necessary so as not to arouse any undue form of suspicion in Yetunde. Bola had even broken off her relationship with the married man whose misstress she had been for a good while. She had come to realise, and not altogether without reason, that most married men never leave their wives, and although it had been a lot of fun( what with weekend trips to Paris, and expensive gifts), whilst it lasted, she was aware that no more could be expected from such relationships. She knew well the fate of the sugar-daddy girls after their youth and beauty had long since faded they were inevitably abandoned by all of society and not least by the very men at whose hands they had been privileged to deserve such infamy. no, she was fully dteremined that that would not be her lot, or as the popular love song stated," Lord, that shall not be my portion.." She had been wise enough to surmise that to her married lover she had been nothing more than a temporary amusement, a passing one at that, which could just as easily and quickly be replaced by another young thing which could also be any young thing... As such she had beeen determined to leave this way of life behind as swiftly as she possibly could and before what little good remained of her name be lost forever. But all that was well and good, what made everythuing more attractive was that she was quite as much in love with Toks as he was with her. To her, he was as a breath of fresh air, she could nearly palpate the honor in his heart, and could smell the fragrant ardor of love and fidelity which he exuded around her.. In him she knew she never had to fear him becoming an old man fawning around young girls nor the plagues of infidelity. perhaps he would not be able to splurge on weekends in Paris, at short notice; but at least he had the means at his disposal to keep her in a certain level of society which was not altogether bad. In actuality, she wisely surmounted that it was always " better to not set one's eyes on things too great for her". Yet, her the daughter of a primary school pricipakl would still have done very well for herself. true, she had" lacked" much in that humble abode in Ondo state where she had grown up under adequate but quite meagre circumstances, thanks to the Nigerian government which could never pay salaries nor pensions on time, nor could it keep up the salary increases with the rates of inflation.. it was a world all gone amuck, not due to Papa's fault, as he had done all he was supposed to do. But what chance did he have as a sole upright principal surrounded by a corrupt government on every side. And so they had mostly suffered wants and wants, just lijke the other 99.5 % of the population. Her family had been duly ,albeit, informally intorduce dto the dashing Tokunbl, who in their eyes had been likened to a knight in shining armor coming riding in on a white horse to claim the hand of their beautiful but poor daughter. Both mother and father had been quite overcome, for it was obvious by his manners and presentation that he was from the upper echelons of society that they so greedily coveted.
" I had always known that she was destined for great things" Papa had blurted out after the fact, in excitement to his wife. And his wife was so overjoyed that words failed her and she nodded in agreement, as they had always known that this daughter whose beauty was indeed quite fabled would not fall short of the mark. Finally her mother added, " Yes, I always knew that she had a little white angel sitting on her shoulder, for her life has so been charmed".
The graduation:
The graduation ceremony at Obafemi Awolowo University in Ife had come and gone, even without the presence of Mr. Tokunbo Ajayi. In a last moment of incertitude he had backed out of the attending the graduation alotogether. For, he could not attend the ceremony as the fiance of Yetunde, which he no longer felt that he was; and Bola who had by now been secretly dating him for the last few months could not help but agree that the situation was at best awkward for all involved.. A week before the wedding he hurrieldy purchased two airline tickets for London; his was to leave the next morning and Bolas was to nleave the day after the graduation ceremonies at Ife were over. The plan was for them to celebrate in London, this next great phase of their lives which waited ahead of them, a future though unknown was firmly rooted in their committment to stya together. Contrary to appearances this sequel of events had not been hurried or altogether unplanned either, as they had spent largely every weekend together over the last few months, when Bola had taken transport down to Lagos to meet him. They had found this arrangement necessary so as not to arouse any undue form of suspicion in Yetunde. Bola had even broken off her relationship with the married man whose misstress she had been for a good while. She had come to realise, and not altogether without reason, that most married men never leave their wives, and although it had been a lot of fun( what with weekend trips to Paris, and expensive gifts), whilst it lasted, she was aware that no more could be expected from such relationships. She knew well the fate of the sugar-daddy girls after their youth and beauty had long since faded they were inevitably abandoned by all of society and not least by the very men at whose hands they had been privileged to deserve such infamy. no, she was fully dteremined that that would not be her lot, or as the popular love song stated," Lord, that shall not be my portion.." She had been wise enough to surmise that to her married lover she had been nothing more than a temporary amusement, a passing one at that, which could just as easily and quickly be replaced by another young thing which could also be any young thing... As such she had beeen determined to leave this way of life behind as swiftly as she possibly could and before what little good remained of her name be lost forever. But all that was well and good, what made everythuing more attractive was that she was quite as much in love with Toks as he was with her. To her, he was as a breath of fresh air, she could nearly palpate the honor in his heart, and could smell the fragrant ardor of love and fidelity which he exuded around her.. In him she knew she never had to fear him becoming an old man fawning around young girls nor the plagues of infidelity. perhaps he would not be able to splurge on weekends in Paris, at short notice; but at least he had the means at his disposal to keep her in a certain level of society which was not altogether bad. In actuality, she wisely surmounted that it was always " better to not set one's eyes on things too great for her". Yet, her the daughter of a primary school pricipakl would still have done very well for herself. true, she had" lacked" much in that humble abode in Ondo state where she had grown up under adequate but quite meagre circumstances, thanks to the Nigerian government which could never pay salaries nor pensions on time, nor could it keep up the salary increases with the rates of inflation.. it was a world all gone amuck, not due to Papa's fault, as he had done all he was supposed to do. But what chance did he have as a sole upright principal surrounded by a corrupt government on every side. And so they had mostly suffered wants and wants, just lijke the other 99.5 % of the population. Her family had been duly ,albeit, informally intorduce dto the dashing Tokunbl, who in their eyes had been likened to a knight in shining armor coming riding in on a white horse to claim the hand of their beautiful but poor daughter. Both mother and father had been quite overcome, for it was obvious by his manners and presentation that he was from the upper echelons of society that they so greedily coveted.
" I had always known that she was destined for great things" Papa had blurted out after the fact, in excitement to his wife. And his wife was so overjoyed that words failed her and she nodded in agreement, as they had always known that this daughter whose beauty was indeed quite fabled would not fall short of the mark. Finally her mother added, " Yes, I always knew that she had a little white angel sitting on her shoulder, for her life has so been charmed".
For all this parents could not really be blamed as, in their ignorance they had been sperd the details of their daughters sugar daddy days; in their naivitee they had not figured out that clothes designed by Yves saint Laurent in Chiffon could not be purchased with a principals entire yearly income, let alone on the daughters pocket money.
In the garden of Mrs. Toyin Ajayi jr continued
ffemi had felt that they should just elope, or go to the registry office by themselves and be done with it. they had both already been " victims' of huge society weddings which had made many amother weep with envy in Lagos at the time. And in light of all the hoopla, the failure of these same marriages had made it even more difficult to bear than would be expected.
But Toyin jr. was an incurable romantic, and being true to herself there was something totally unacceptable about not crowning this true love with a proper ceremony. For she knew that even the minds of men were affected by pomp, and elegance and ceremony. Inevitably ,all these elements aided a man to fall in love with his bride,and in the hard and cold days which were sure to come as some point couold be counted upon to sustain it. Then, the memories of past events could serve as an anchor for his soul to her, and allow the ship of their love to weather the storm.
" I have been thinking, femi darling," she began to address him, as she so often did whilst their were seated at the dining table. he had finished eating, and although no mention had been made of what she was about to address, he could see before him that by default the conversation must be about the proposed nuptials and the fulfillment thereof.
She continued," I know you have left all the arrangements to me..."
And he thought to himself without betraying for a moment in his demeanor his displeasure at this nightly conversation," Would that they would have this all behind them! And he wondered facetiously if after the event was done and past they might nrun out of topics of conversation. But then he knew Toyin well, and once she had her mind set upon something it was nearly impossible to sway her from such, and she would doubtlessly replace this cause with another once this issue has been resolved.
He walked over to the other side of the table where his lover sat, and seated himself on the chair beside her, and gently cradling her face in his two hands he kissed first her left cheek, and then her right, and smiling all the while .
" My dearest Toyin,", he finally mustered," you know very well that the last thing in the world I would like to do would be to deny you of your opportunity for a wedding. It should have been both of our firsts, but as fate would have it, is both of our seconds. And i think we must bear this in mind when making the plans. Can we not scale it back a little? It is not because of cost, but more privacy. I dont need the whole of Lagos to attend my wedding to make it valid. "
" I dont think that the term scaling back is one I care to use in this matter. How would I put it? Perhaps if I said something "different" from what our first marriages were those infamous jamborees where we hosted thousands.." Then she paused, and added" Yes,I like the idea of something different, yes,.. something far away from Lagos..."
Now that he opened the pandoras box, the flow of details cou.ld not be stopped, she was now hurling like a runaway train on the tracks being buoyed along by the coals of love." that sounds like an idea to me, the mere fact of removing the venue from Lagos will give us the freedom to make the ceremony more intimate and after what I went through with my first wedding i think that is preferable.. I have been looking at a number of places, and I seem to be settling for for a small chapel ceremony in Las Vegas, we can a small private court weding here before we leave for the U.S. of course, my brothers and their wives shall attend, and you brothers and sisters as well. As for the children, I had hoped they could be ring bearers but then when I think of the trouble of dealing with Iyabo, then I shelve the idea. .. I quite like Las Vegas in the spring.."
She needed little or no encouragement at this point to continue with her reverie, she could already see herself in Las Vegas, surrounded by close family and a few select friends, that appealed to her as a wedding that could be romantic and also fun.
Femi did not seem to be totally averse to the idea, and actually quite liked the thought of it, and it was discussed between them and decided that Las vegas might be the perfect place for them with twenty or thirty guests in attendance.
" i dont mind up to fifty guests total," Femi said, with a mischevious glint in his eyes," and then added as an afterthought," As long as the guests all fly themselves over there. I am not one of those rich nigerians who hires aeroplanes on stolen money to fly guests off to farflung destinations for the wedding of the century! No, and i dont foot hotel bills either, thank you very much. If anyone wants to attend the wedding then they should first make sure that they can afford it." At this they both laughed, for it was true that he would not support his guests in an ostentatious manner, but that was not because he could not afford to do these things, more than that these things offended his sense of propriety. If it came to donating money to the poor or the needy, then femi could open his wallet with ease, but he found it uniquely distasteful to be wasting his hard earned money on the rich and the frivolous.
Toyin had burst into laughter, and rose from her chair by the table. She briefly rang the bell on the dining table to signal the steward to clear the dining table as dinner was over. Then arm in arm they sauntered over to the white leather sofa which was in the adjacent living room, and laid down leaning on the small bule pillows that dotted it. Safely ensconced in each others arms on the sofa they fell asleep in front of the television.
And as all women who live with their lover before marriage, she now found herself in a hurry to put their affairs in order and regularise their situation. This was not only for her own sake, but also due to the fact that her brothers had made it quite clear that to them a tradtional weding ceremony was not quite the same thing as a court or church wedding. For God's sake, they had said, you need some kind of legal footing in this case, no matter how much in love you were, because " when the shit hits the fan" yuo need all the protection of the heavy hand of the law. This was not to say that they anticipated any problems with Femi, as they had both known Femi fairly well for a long time and they felt they had enough knowledge of him to vouchsafe for his basic character., but neither could pretend to know the interior workings of his mind. In reality, they had felt, he was a better match than that "learned" engineer Tokunbo who thought himself a " cut above the rest of humanity" could ever have been. From what they had heard the man had not taken the divorce well at all, but then they had never understood what Toyin had liked about him in the first place; and then to make matters worse, she had even thought that she would be happy living with him in that dreary flat in ikeja, that they could barely stomach to visit. Indeed, they had quietly sniggered behind the back of the engineer when Toyin had left. True, Toyin was altruistic, but she had been brought up accustomed to a certain standard of living and when she had gradually realised that for all Toks positive attributes even he could not make 100 Naira become a million, and so on and so forth. On the otherhand, Femi, though modest at all times, came from one of the wealthiest families in Lagos too. He could afford to send her on those annual excursions to be spent worshipping at the thrones of hedonism at Harrod's and Selfridge's. And, Femi appreciated her efforts, he would notice the new blouse, or the cut of the dress that showed her figure to advantage. On the rare occasions when they attended social functions, he wanted her to appear at his side as the embodiment of sophistication and grace.
For the time being her focus was on the wedding, but after that, who knew what would preoccupy her mind? She had already fully determined that she wanted, God willing, to have four children. This number had not been arbitrarily chosen but rather served to ensure that the numbe rof children she would bear would exceed the three of Iyabo. Yes, she too could be competitive in all the arenas of life, and in this instance she the prisoner of his love, would reverse the role to become the warden herself holding him to her soul with the living shackles of their children for all eternity.
He had originally objected to the idea vehemently, fancying himself the father of seven at the end of the day. " You would make me the father of seven!" he had gushed with some embarrassment.
And she had laughed herself at the expression of his face, " Father of many! They will call you when you go to the market."
Then he would reiterate that seven could never be enough, and to this Toyin was quite fearful that he might actually mean what he was saying, and she accused him of being a male chauvinist who thought that the only role of women was childbearing and housework. " Howe could you say such a thing.." she would say in all earnestness, having totally forgotten that she was the one who had begun the conversation in that direction. " And I who thought I knew you all along? Is that why they say everything changes when you marry? No, Femi, let it not be so for us..."
Inevitably,this would make him laugh all the more, as she still could not always figure out when he was serious or joking with her,
And he laughed, and and with a twinkle in his eye, he took her into his arms and covered her hands and cheeks with small little kisses ever so gentle as a breeze of wind on her cheeks, " Now that was a joke. i dont think
But Toyin jr. was an incurable romantic, and being true to herself there was something totally unacceptable about not crowning this true love with a proper ceremony. For she knew that even the minds of men were affected by pomp, and elegance and ceremony. Inevitably ,all these elements aided a man to fall in love with his bride,and in the hard and cold days which were sure to come as some point couold be counted upon to sustain it. Then, the memories of past events could serve as an anchor for his soul to her, and allow the ship of their love to weather the storm.
" I have been thinking, femi darling," she began to address him, as she so often did whilst their were seated at the dining table. he had finished eating, and although no mention had been made of what she was about to address, he could see before him that by default the conversation must be about the proposed nuptials and the fulfillment thereof.
She continued," I know you have left all the arrangements to me..."
And he thought to himself without betraying for a moment in his demeanor his displeasure at this nightly conversation," Would that they would have this all behind them! And he wondered facetiously if after the event was done and past they might nrun out of topics of conversation. But then he knew Toyin well, and once she had her mind set upon something it was nearly impossible to sway her from such, and she would doubtlessly replace this cause with another once this issue has been resolved.
He walked over to the other side of the table where his lover sat, and seated himself on the chair beside her, and gently cradling her face in his two hands he kissed first her left cheek, and then her right, and smiling all the while .
" My dearest Toyin,", he finally mustered," you know very well that the last thing in the world I would like to do would be to deny you of your opportunity for a wedding. It should have been both of our firsts, but as fate would have it, is both of our seconds. And i think we must bear this in mind when making the plans. Can we not scale it back a little? It is not because of cost, but more privacy. I dont need the whole of Lagos to attend my wedding to make it valid. "
" I dont think that the term scaling back is one I care to use in this matter. How would I put it? Perhaps if I said something "different" from what our first marriages were those infamous jamborees where we hosted thousands.." Then she paused, and added" Yes,I like the idea of something different, yes,.. something far away from Lagos..."
Now that he opened the pandoras box, the flow of details cou.ld not be stopped, she was now hurling like a runaway train on the tracks being buoyed along by the coals of love." that sounds like an idea to me, the mere fact of removing the venue from Lagos will give us the freedom to make the ceremony more intimate and after what I went through with my first wedding i think that is preferable.. I have been looking at a number of places, and I seem to be settling for for a small chapel ceremony in Las Vegas, we can a small private court weding here before we leave for the U.S. of course, my brothers and their wives shall attend, and you brothers and sisters as well. As for the children, I had hoped they could be ring bearers but then when I think of the trouble of dealing with Iyabo, then I shelve the idea. .. I quite like Las Vegas in the spring.."
She needed little or no encouragement at this point to continue with her reverie, she could already see herself in Las Vegas, surrounded by close family and a few select friends, that appealed to her as a wedding that could be romantic and also fun.
Femi did not seem to be totally averse to the idea, and actually quite liked the thought of it, and it was discussed between them and decided that Las vegas might be the perfect place for them with twenty or thirty guests in attendance.
" i dont mind up to fifty guests total," Femi said, with a mischevious glint in his eyes," and then added as an afterthought," As long as the guests all fly themselves over there. I am not one of those rich nigerians who hires aeroplanes on stolen money to fly guests off to farflung destinations for the wedding of the century! No, and i dont foot hotel bills either, thank you very much. If anyone wants to attend the wedding then they should first make sure that they can afford it." At this they both laughed, for it was true that he would not support his guests in an ostentatious manner, but that was not because he could not afford to do these things, more than that these things offended his sense of propriety. If it came to donating money to the poor or the needy, then femi could open his wallet with ease, but he found it uniquely distasteful to be wasting his hard earned money on the rich and the frivolous.
Toyin had burst into laughter, and rose from her chair by the table. She briefly rang the bell on the dining table to signal the steward to clear the dining table as dinner was over. Then arm in arm they sauntered over to the white leather sofa which was in the adjacent living room, and laid down leaning on the small bule pillows that dotted it. Safely ensconced in each others arms on the sofa they fell asleep in front of the television.
And as all women who live with their lover before marriage, she now found herself in a hurry to put their affairs in order and regularise their situation. This was not only for her own sake, but also due to the fact that her brothers had made it quite clear that to them a tradtional weding ceremony was not quite the same thing as a court or church wedding. For God's sake, they had said, you need some kind of legal footing in this case, no matter how much in love you were, because " when the shit hits the fan" yuo need all the protection of the heavy hand of the law. This was not to say that they anticipated any problems with Femi, as they had both known Femi fairly well for a long time and they felt they had enough knowledge of him to vouchsafe for his basic character., but neither could pretend to know the interior workings of his mind. In reality, they had felt, he was a better match than that "learned" engineer Tokunbo who thought himself a " cut above the rest of humanity" could ever have been. From what they had heard the man had not taken the divorce well at all, but then they had never understood what Toyin had liked about him in the first place; and then to make matters worse, she had even thought that she would be happy living with him in that dreary flat in ikeja, that they could barely stomach to visit. Indeed, they had quietly sniggered behind the back of the engineer when Toyin had left. True, Toyin was altruistic, but she had been brought up accustomed to a certain standard of living and when she had gradually realised that for all Toks positive attributes even he could not make 100 Naira become a million, and so on and so forth. On the otherhand, Femi, though modest at all times, came from one of the wealthiest families in Lagos too. He could afford to send her on those annual excursions to be spent worshipping at the thrones of hedonism at Harrod's and Selfridge's. And, Femi appreciated her efforts, he would notice the new blouse, or the cut of the dress that showed her figure to advantage. On the rare occasions when they attended social functions, he wanted her to appear at his side as the embodiment of sophistication and grace.
For the time being her focus was on the wedding, but after that, who knew what would preoccupy her mind? She had already fully determined that she wanted, God willing, to have four children. This number had not been arbitrarily chosen but rather served to ensure that the numbe rof children she would bear would exceed the three of Iyabo. Yes, she too could be competitive in all the arenas of life, and in this instance she the prisoner of his love, would reverse the role to become the warden herself holding him to her soul with the living shackles of their children for all eternity.
He had originally objected to the idea vehemently, fancying himself the father of seven at the end of the day. " You would make me the father of seven!" he had gushed with some embarrassment.
And she had laughed herself at the expression of his face, " Father of many! They will call you when you go to the market."
Then he would reiterate that seven could never be enough, and to this Toyin was quite fearful that he might actually mean what he was saying, and she accused him of being a male chauvinist who thought that the only role of women was childbearing and housework. " Howe could you say such a thing.." she would say in all earnestness, having totally forgotten that she was the one who had begun the conversation in that direction. " And I who thought I knew you all along? Is that why they say everything changes when you marry? No, Femi, let it not be so for us..."
Inevitably,this would make him laugh all the more, as she still could not always figure out when he was serious or joking with her,
And he laughed, and and with a twinkle in his eye, he took her into his arms and covered her hands and cheeks with small little kisses ever so gentle as a breeze of wind on her cheeks, " Now that was a joke. i dont think
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